Mark Manson

Published 2011

Non-fiction/Seduction/Self Improvement

What is it about?

The author makes his case for attracting women through self development, honesty and direct action.

How long is it?

200+ pages.

Is it easy to read?

Yes, similarly to As a Man Thinketh, it is chopped up into short, punchy paragraphs.

Is it any good? 

Yes, where as The Game is more biography than instruction manual, this lays out in detail what I have found to be the most genuine and beneficial way to go about attracting women.

How will it inspire me?

The book is the author’s antidote to what he believes to be a lot of ‘toxic’ literature about dating. It distils his experience as a seduction coach and his research into human relationships to arrive at the question – instead of learning how to fake being an attractive, high status man, by adopting an inauthentic persona, would it not instead be far more beneficial to develop yourself in positive ways, in order to become an attractive, high status man?  

I mentioned how in the last blog that I was posting this book as an accompaniment to Neil Strauss’s The Game. The reason being that even though I still believe that book to be a great read, the methods that Strauss and the other pick-up artists’ employ have become somewhat outdated. For example, if you have seen the 2005 movie Wedding Crashers, you will get a satirised summary into the types of seduction tricks employed in The Game. The two main characters played by Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson, are divorce mediators who crash high society weddings, in order to sleep with the women who are in attendance. However, whilst at these weddings they invent personas for themselves, they lie about their names, their jobs and anything else they have to in order to get women into bed. After the first twenty minutes, Owen Wilson forgets the name of a woman he has just slept with and he begins to question what he’s doing. This is what the book attempts to argue against, the fraudulent, deceitful and impostor-like feeling that comes from consistently lying about who you are. 

In my post about The Fountainhead I mention how three of the male characters all get their validation from external sources, which ultimately ends up being their undoing. Similarly, a trap I believe that a lot of men (which is partially illustrated in The Game) fall into is getting their entire validation and self-worth from women and their ability to seduce/get them into bed. That’s a problem; you cannot live and die on the approval of every woman you meet, that’s far too much pressure and power to simply hand over to another person. The reason why I have chosen seduction books as a non-fiction category, is not because I believe it beneficial to be out every night, sleeping with inordinate amounts of women. It is really because I think a basic level of competency with women is important in order to avoid settling for bad relationships and developing a scarcity mentality.

Why I think this is the best seduction book is because it aligns itself with a lot of the things I try and promote on this blog. Dating no matter who you are is messy, you will be rejected a lot, if you have a poor or fragile self-image this could seriously impact you. A lot of dating books will give you some canned routines or lines to use on women, but ultimately these are not going to work if you have no confidence in yourself to back them up. The book is great as its biggest lesson is self-improvement, develop self respect to the point that you know your own worth and will be able to be selective when it comes to women and not go to pieces when one rejects you. It is almost an anti-seduction book in this sense, but it is the one that teaches the best lesson, improve yourself, but do it for you, not someone else.   

Choice Lines:

-This is why using pick up lines is ultimately a futile process. I could sell you the best 100 things I’ve ever said to women, but I can’t ever sell you my intentions or my confidence in myself. You must develop those on your own. And once you do, the actual lines you say will be personal and congruent to you and nobody else.

-Again, the men who are needy and have poor self-esteem are the ones who are willing to completely alter their personalities in order to seduce any woman. The first step to being more attractive is to see rejection as a means to eliminate women who won’t make you happy from your life. It’s a blessing, not a curse.

-Other men often stick to plain jokes and safe topics of conversation that end up not polarizing at all for fear of being rejected. This is also a form of hiding one’s truth, not showing vulnerability, being over-invested and therefore not attractive.

-I personally think anxiety is the biggest culprit when it comes to preventing men from successfully meeting and dating women. You remove anxiety, and trial-and-error will take care of most of the rest.

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